• Denyse

When I’m Tempted to Stockpile

Updated: Sep 4, 2020

While I don’t have a six month supply of toilet paper, recent events have been irritating my urge to stockpile. I’ve been finding myself continually checking InstaCart and Whole Foods delivery to see what is available. I finally took all this worry to God. Here’s the prayer I wrote: Dear Lord, I am so afraid. I am so overwhelmed with what I think is my burden for providing for my family. Lord, now I get it. Now I understand why the ancient Israelites were so tempted to gather more manna than they needed. I understand the fear, the unknown, the need to stockpile in the spirit of “who knows what will happen tomorrow?” I’m so sorry for my judgmental attitude about the Israelites when I read their story. But like in Exodus, you are asking me to gather just enough for now and trust there will be more later when I need it. You have promised to be my provider, and it’s time I took you up on that.

Lord, I love this family you have given me so much. They are proof You are a gracious God, and they are the best gift you’ve ever given me. I don’t want them to suffer in this. I don’t even want them to be inconvenienced in the middle of all of this. But that is not Your way. Help me accept that. Help me to believe in my bones that motherhood, good motherhood, is not about stockpiling for every possible need, but showing my kids that no matter what comes, God is right here. Help me trust that through this crisis, I can teach my kids resiliency and resourcefulness. Help me to parent like you, God. You sometimes prevent the heartache and trouble, but more often that not, you deliver us through the trouble. This truth is enough, more than enough. Help me to rest in You as provider. AMEN

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